Alone

LONELY.

DEJECTED.

ISOLATED.

SECLUDED.

WITHDRAWN.

If you are in emotional or physical pain, you can relate to these feelings all too well. I know you can, because I can too. It seems to go with the territory. But does feeling lonely, in fact, mean you are alone?

Pain can be the greatest and most powerful isolator. In a room full of people, I can feel all by myself. There is something entirely disconnecting about being stuck inside your own pain bubble, when the people around you are going about living their lives. It can be paralyzingly. God, I have been there more times than I care to admit. It is like a time-lapse scene in a movie, where the main character is frozen still, standing on a sidewalk. Everyone is moving around them at rapid pace. The cars are all zipping by, people are hurried and dart around them, completely unaffected. The sun rises, arcs in the sky, and then sets – while they just –

Stand.

Invisibly.

Still.

But really that character is you, and this isn’t a movie. This is real life. And THAT is how it feels.

It doesn’t seem to matter if the pain is physical in nature, or emotional – it feels the same. I can be having a really bad pain flare or a high-octane bout of anxiety, but the result is the same. I feel alone. I feel like life goes on without me. I feel invisible.

But this is something I know for sure, after many years of this struggle.

I AM NOT ALONE. No matter how lonely I can feel.

THIS FEELING PASSES, even if I feel like time stands still.

I AM NOT MY PAIN, even when every cell in my entire being feels it. I am so much more than what I am feeling, in that moment. WHAT I feel is NOT who I am. And I often need to remind myself of that.

ALONE AND LONELY MEAN TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

While pain can be lonely, I am far from alone. If you are reading this, that means you aren’t alone either. We have each other. And one by one, we can build a community of understanding and compassion, if we just have the courage to open ourselves up to those around us, and let them in. We are so much more alike than we realize. We are so much MORE human than we think. And we have SO more that connects us than divides us, if we just find the strength to be vulnerable with others.

If time stands still for you today, please know, there is ALWAYS, always someone who is willing to slow down and wait…