The questions I hate most these days are ‘What are you doing? ‘, ‘So what have you been doing lately?’, and my all time fave, ‘So what is it that YOU do?’ (that one is usually asked by people I first meet in relation to what career path I’ve chosen)
What DID, DO, or WILL I?
Absolutely nothing, thanks for asking!!!
Well of course that’s not what I say…. I mean, not out loud anyhow. I usually say ‘not much’ or mumble how being a Mom keeps me busy (If they only knew my son is in Grade 5, makes his own lunch every day and is very independent outside of school.), or I try to just change the subject. ‘What are YOU doing?’ seems to be a good enough reply. People like talking about themselves generally, and are only too happy to take the focus off of me and onto themselves.
Ring ring…. Ring ring…. ‘Hey! How are you? Whatcha doing?’ is how many people start a phone conversation….
And by text, it’s know different. ‘hey? Are you busy? Can you chat?’
Now I don’t think I’m THAT cynical, but the more I’m asked that, the less I want to talk to anyone these days.
What seems like an easy and benign question to ask is one of the most painful ones for me to answer. It is extremely frustrating at times. And it is a daily reminder to me of WHAT I AM NOT DOING, and WHAT I CANNOT DO.
I am not driving a car.
I am not going to school.
I am not working, nor am I working towards a career….
Laundry? Not today.
Out with a girlfriend? There aren’t many of those left.
I can’t even chat about a funny conversation I had the other day. Chances are, the conversation did not take place!!
Unless you mean the conversation that I had with my body. I have lots of those. I just don’t like sharing them with too many people.
I sit for 6 hours every day. By myself. Sure, I knit, make jewelry, try to write…. I play with my sweet puppy… I eat lunch (usually). I try and make time go by faster…. And I take a walk in the afternoon when my boy gets out of school.
But there’s only so many times I can stand having conversation about WHAT I’m knitting and whether it rained or not on the way to school!!
This life isn’t just about the pain we feel, the medication we take, or the appointments we have to go to. It doesn’t just effect our HEALTH. It effects everything.
The next time you bitch about your job, or do the laundry…. Remember how privileged you are to be able to do those things.
The next time you want to share an absolutely fascinating conversation you had, or movie you saw…… Remember how lucky you are to share those things.
The next time you stress over your paycheque being too small.. Remember that you HAVE a paycheque, and celebrate the fact that you can earn one at all……
And if you are like me, know that you aren’t alone…. And the next time someone asks you what you’ve been up to ‘these days’, tell them you’ve been working hard. You’ve been climbing insurmountable obstacles and working hard to be the hero in your own life.