there are many things that you don’t see…
You don’t see the millions of tears I have shed,
or the way my heart breaks each time my pain prevents me from
doing all the things that most take for granted.
You don’t see the many times I have had to cancel on my friends,
or eat my meals in bed.
When you see me smile,
you don’t see the intense pain that flows through my body,
every minute of every day –
the copious handfuls of pills I have taken,
or the way my pain breaks my Mom’s heart.
You don’t see the helplessness my Dad feels, or
the sad resignation my son has so maturely made
on days that I just can’t play with him the way he’d like me to….
You don’t see the midnight tears, and how my love wipes them away –
he hides his anger well… never angry at me but loathing the pain he cannot take away.
When you look at me you don’t see
how much courage it has taken me to get out of bed that day,
or how hard it is for me to make dinner for my family some nights,
or do the laundry,
and sneak in some errands before my body starts yelling for me
You don’t see my freedom, or lack thereof…
the many times I’ve been disappointed,
the many times I’ve felt like I have let my family and friends down.
With that said, you also don’t see
how grateful I am,
to survive each day.
This is only a glance into a life with an Invisible Illness.
Some take life at face value,
those living with and
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