Okay people, fess up!
Who out there fails to put themselves first?
Didn’t we all learn while we were growing up that it is selfish to think about ourselves? I think it is especially hard for us Moms who saw our own Mothers who constantly placed themselves at the bottom of the priority list in order to take care of their families…. When did being a Mom get confused with being a martyr?
Think about it… If you were on an airplane which was experiencing sufficient turbulence to have the air masks fall from the overhead compartment thingy, would you immediately grab one and put it on your daughter/son/partner/parent/stranger seated next to you or would you put it on yourself so you’d be sure you’d be strong enough FIRST to help those around you? We all know what the ‘right’ answer is… But is it the answer you’d give? Be honest…
I know what my answer would be… I’d put the oxygen mask on son first, my honey second… And somewhere before losing consciousness I would try to help myself… Albeit WRONG, I know myself and I absolutely don’t put myself first when push comes to shove…. The odd time I am forced in to doing so (thanks honey) it makes me feel horrendously guilty. Call it a perfectly dysfunctional combination of:
A) Being a Mommy -and-
B) Being sick.
The reason I bring this up is I have a chance to do something JUST for ME and I keep putting it off… Just before Christmas there was a raffle at my little dude’s school, and I won the grand prize (okay, so I bought a LOT of tickets 😉 ). I was given a beautiful spa day at one of the most prestigious salon and spas in my area – complete with essential oils, hydrotherapy tub soak, full body massage, manicure, pedicure… THE WORKS!! And well um… It expires at the end of this month, and I haven’t used it yet. AM I CRAZY?!?! What is WRONG with me?
When I first won it I was under a great of stress, I was flaring badly, and I was carrying some extra weight. I didn’t want these things to ruin my spa experience, so I put it off and promised myself I would book an appoint as soon as I got a handle on things… I lost 7 pounds, the flare subsided, and came back and subsided and came back and subsided and came back… And well you know stress never truly goes away 😉
January, February, March, April, and MAY went by and every time I’ve thought about making the appointment I have chickened out… But honestly I have no idea why! Again, what is wrong with me? A day of relaxation, and therapeutic massage… It’s not like I’m booking myself in to get kidney stones removed!!!!
I am literally losing sleep over it now…. I do not want a $350 spa certificate to go to waste… and I think I really could use the break… I just don’t know why I feel so guilty about going? Why is this so hard for me?
So THIS is my goal this week. I AM GOING TO CALL AND MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!! And not only that, when the day comes, I am going to leave ALL the mental baggage and guilt at home.. I am going to go, relax, and think about ME (hmm… that is easier said that done ;)). I am going to try to convince myself that I deserve the break and the pampering…..
Am I the only one who has a hard time with this??
What is it that YOU struggle with when it comes to putting yourself first…. Do you believe that it is a result of your constant pain OR being a Mother… or both..??
I’d love to hear your thoughts!!