For those of you who don’t know how blogging works, or more specifically how WordPress blogging works – I have what is called a “Dashboard” from which I can manage this site. I can see who has signed up for email updates, see my blog stats daily, weekly, and monthly, and I can also see ‘search terms’. What this means is if you search a term in Google and find my site, I can see what it is you typed in to find http://www.gracefulagony.wordpress.com … For example these are a few common searches that will bring you here:
“Graceful Agony” (Obviously)
“Chronic Pain Support”
It is a really neat thing to be able to see, for the most part. It helps me understand who is finding me on the world-wide web, and what it is they are looking for. I usually check my stats each day – and I can tell you that on my really bad days, it is truly motivating to see how many people are sharing in my experiences, regardless of whether they leave comments or not… Day or night – I KNOW I am not alone.
Yesterday when I checked in, I found a really disturbing ‘search term’ sitting on my dashboard… it was glaring off my screen… Try as I might, I just cannot let it go. It makes me horribly sad, and I wanted to address it here… this is the search term that someone entered to find me:
“Best drugs for suicide”
Now you might be asking yourself WHY on earth would that be linked to my site somehow? – But I can explain that. I wrote an article recently about the risks associated with the drug Tramadol – one being a higher suicide risk… because of that the word ‘suicide’ is now linked to my page. Make sense?
Now I have NO idea who it was who used this search term, and what brought this person to sit down at their computer and look up “best drugs for suicide” – but no matter how I look at it, it seems like a huge cry for help. I am thinking that you have to be in a pretty low place in your life to be looking up that sort of information…. 😦
So here is my open message to the person who found my site this way, or to ANYONE reading my blog who has had those thoughts…
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reach outside yourself long enough to ask for help. You are NOT alone… there are SO many people who have struggled with this sort of depression and feelings of hopelessness… but the good news is that is a fight that you can win… It is okay to admit that you cannot handle life at this very moment without some support.. WE ALL feel like that at times… YOU ARE NOT ALONE… And there is NOTHING that is as bad or as permanent as ending your life. It is always dark before the dawn… and take it from me – nothing ever stays the same… change is always occurring, even when you cannot feel it… It seems trite to say that things will get better.. but they almost always do.
Depression is a VERY serious and debilitating illness – but there are many forms of treatment… suicide however is not one of them.
1-800-273-8255 (Canada and the USA)
Pick up the phone and make the call today… It is the first step… there are people who are waiting to help you.
Wherever you are today – please know that you matter.. your life matters… and there are people who truly care. The sun will rise and shine again, I can promise you that… I have seen it happen in my own life, and so will you…
LOVE to all my readers today…. I hope you have a peaceful weekend!!!