I love this time of year…. the birds are back from a LONG journey… I can hear them chirp when I open my eyes in the morning, and see them perched outside my bedroom window on the bare branches… The sun is shining and melting the snow… The air is fresh… The world I live in is starting to feel alive again. Like MANY of us with Chronic Pain, I tend to hibernate in the winter, as the frigidness hurts me… aahhhh Spring… I get to feel alive once again and head out into the world… time to wake up and head out of the cave I have been in this winter…
But instead I am stuck inside… 😦 The last few days have been on the brutal side, and as I write this, I am STILL in bed, where I have been this whole weekend. I have all my gadgets with me – My Blackberry, my iPod, my laptop, my Sony Reader, AND TV… whew, does one really NEED that many gadgets? I do… I will be the first to admit I may have a gadget addiction, but they all make my life a little easier, AND they give me a connection to the outside world…. and THAT is priceless… There is nothing on TV right now, so I am blogging instead.
The nerve pain that I have been battling the past few weeks hasn’t gotten better yet. I did up my medication this past Monday, but so far other than wiping me out and making me really tired, it hasn’t helped a whole lot.
I am suffering from ligament instability in my hips and legs, which has caused some muscle spasm, and that my friends, as you know, ends up setting off a chain reaction in the rest of your body. My scalenes in my neck are so tight I think I could probably strum a tune on them, and it has pulled out the back of my neck – hence the migraine I have had for 2 days…. ohhh the joys of chronic pain hey? My sinuses are inflamed as well, but I think it is the result of my TMJ acting up, when my neck is out it tends to put my jaw into spasm as well…. It is so easy to see on days like this that there is a full body connection to this disease……
Needless to say, I am feeling quite rough, and I am sorry that I wasn’t around much yesterday. It is days like this that I don’t have what it takes to be overly supportive to others 😉 (please don’t take that the wrong way!!), I can barely support myself.
My honey is amazing… he made a wonderful dinner for me last night… He knew I was feeling really rough, it isn’t like me to stay in bed all day. When he came home from work he filled up the tub for me, turned off the lights, lit some candles, and went as far as bringing his iPod into the bathroom to play “sounds of the Ocean”… He is SO sweet. We ate a beautiful Seafood Linguine on the couch, with a glass of chardonnay and watched some TV before bed… I had a hard time eating, but I did the best I could… My honey understands…. I sometimes think he understands better than I do. I still can be so hard on myself at times…. I easily blame myself for ‘ruining’ the night, when I don’t think my honey sees it that way at all. Either way, we are lucky to have one another, and even though it wasn’t “text-book” romance, we tried to make the best of it.
Speaking of which… WHY is ‘romance’ in 2010 STILL so skewed??? We sure don’t do any favors to the younger generations by portraying ‘romance’ as something that happens in a Harlequin paperback…. I think it is VERY romantic when my honey does the dishes, rubs my feet to help me through flares, and is willing to kiss and cuddle me even when I smell like muscle rub, and I am crankypants from the pain… I think is it incredibly romantic when he helps me get trigger points out of my butt, arranges my lumbar pillow in the car, and asks me if I have my meds before we head out for the day….NOW THAT is romantic… It means that he truly loves me in spite of all of this…. but I digress.
So as I was saying, I am stuck inside on a beautiful day, and I am not very happy about it, but I have to make the best of it…. I am going to read for a bit, take a long hot bath, maybe clean the bathroom and do a few loads of laundry, and WAIT until my men come home… both my little dude and my big dude…. I can’t wait until they are back home where they belong…..
What are YOU doing today? Are you stuck inside too? Or are you outside enjoying the day?
Whatever you are doing today, I hope you are doing it with your pain in check, and a smile on your face.