Whew….. Well THAT was a rough night…. It kind of went like this….
6pm- Took 2 pills, made dinner, cuddled with my little guy, and then surprised him by getting out the baking supplies and telling him that we could make sugar cookies and decorate them… My little guy was SOOO excited!! It put a smile on my face… pain level 7/10, energy level 2/10 – but I decided to push through it.
7pm- Cookies are out of the oven cooling, and 6 different colors of icing and sprinkles are ALL over the kitchen counter… what a mess… just breathe through it and don’t panic about the mess. I can clean it up afterwards… and the mess is worth the fun we are having. What is that little dude? You want to have a dance party in the kitchen?!? (groan)… um okay… we can do that… I will grit my teeth and bear the pain that is shooting down my spine into my legs… pain level 8/10, energy level 2/10 – I keep pushing through it.
8pm- After singing at the top of our lungs, and having an 80’s music dance contest we finish decorating all the cookies, and now it is time to clean up the DISASTER otherwise known as our tiny galley-style kitchen. Sprinkles are ALL over the floor, stuck to my socks, and in the cat dish. Umm…. wearing white wasn’t probably a great idea, hope the food coloring comes out ;). I am REALLY needing to sit down.. my body is now screaming at me, but I still try to ignore it. Little dude is licking his fingers and waiting to have a cookie… I tell him he can have ONE, since half the icing has already ended up in his mouth… hope he sleeps tonight.. that was a lot of sugar. But what the hell? I was too sore to do this over the Christmas Holidays, and I promised him I would. I know it is MARCH now, but at least I didn’t break my promise… Pain level 8/10, Energy – barely.
9pm – WHEW!! Little dude is tucked in and snoring his head off… Go and finish cleaning the kitchen.. or crap, I need to do laundry! Can I just do it tomorrow? I make a mental list of what clothes are dirty… NOPE, can’t wait, my little dude needs a school uniform to wear tomorrow… Do 2 loads of laundry. Between loads I lay down on the couch… maybe I will blog again? What was that idea I had earlier? Crap… I can’t remember.. I feel like I have had a lobotomy somewhere between the evening news and scrubbing Chef Boyardee stains out of son’s shirt… Did I put the towels in the wash as well? I can’t remember – so I have to get up and go check… Blogging will wait..
10pm – I forgot to take my meds at 8:30 and now I’m in trouble… Now my normal nighttime meds won’t get me through the night. I take 2 of my ‘in case of emergency break glass’ meds, and decided to delay taking the rest of my meds for a couple of hours. I can’t take them all at once, so if I need to add more into the pot, I have to time it out… That means a later bedtime, but the way things are going, I probably won’t be sleeping much tonight anyhow… Laundry is done, but I JUST don’t have the energy to take it out of the dryer and fold it.. I probably should do it anyway… I go back and forth in my mind for 10 mins on whether or not I should go fold the laundry… It shouldn’t be THAT big of a decision… but it is. I just have nothing left. Laundry will wait.. If it wrinkles in the dryer over night, we will just turn it on and fluff up the clothes again in the morning. I think I am going to check my blog… Now what was it I planned on writing? I still can’t remember… I get up to make myself a decaf… I get to the kitchen, realize that I have to open a new container of coffee… I decide I will have water instead… it takes less energy… My honey will be home soon.
11pm – Watched American Idol with my honey… I was SOOO glad to have him home… We tried to cuddle on the couch, but it was hurting me to be touched… so we settled on holding hands. Honey went to ‘tickle’ the palm of my hand, and I just about went through the roof! Mental note: Nerve pain hasn’t gotten much better… My kitty wants to sit on my lap… but she is hurting me too, so I gently toss her on the floor… when is this show going to be over? I am enjoying it, but at the same time it is all I can do to just SIT here… grab a pillow, roll it up and put it behind my back.. take the pillow and throw it on the floor… grab another pillow, and put it to my side, then put it on my lap, then put it on my honey’s leg and try to lay down… then I sit back up… Honestly I don’t have ADD… but I can’t concentrate on anything, and I am antsy from the pain… check the time… when can I take my night-time meds?…
Midnight – Take the rest of my meds.. count them out – 1 of these, 3 of those, 1 of that, 1 of that, oh and don’t forget that I have to take 1 of the other ones tonight… that’s 7 pills… I hate this part :(… turn my heating pad on, go brush my teeth, and it is all I can do to get on and off the toilet, and crawl into bed… I definitely won’t be falling asleep anytime soon… grab my book and start to read… Pain level 9/10 – Energy level – 5/10. WTF? Why do I have energy NOW when I haven’t had any all day? I read until 2, my meds kick in and lull me to sleep
3am – Surprise! Pain has decided to wake me up… turn on my heating pad, get my pillows in order, cover myself back up and breathe through the pain until I fall asleep again.
5am – Pain wakes me up again, this time I get up, go to the bathroom, go into the kitchen, walk around the living room, decide to not take any more medication at this point because I am already nauseous from the meds I took earlier, and crawl back into bed. Grab my Blackberry and read some articles I have bookmarked before falling back asleep with my Blackberry beside me.
6am- Okay, now this is getting ridiculous.. I am awake again, and the pain is picking on me now…. I turn over to see if I can get my honey’s attention. He is dead to the world, and so he should be.. he had a long day. I am not going to wake him up. My cat is clawing at the blinds because she can hear birds outside… I tell her to be quiet – she doesn’t. I get out of bed, get her off the window ledge, and crawl back into bed… Should I get up? There isn’t much purpose in trying to sleep obviously…. Grr… I am getting really frustrated…Somewhere in between being frustrated and making mental notes on when I am volunteering at my little dudes school I fall asleep again. Pain level – 9/10
7:20 – Okay, I get the picture… I am NOT going to sleep tonight… I count back to when I took my meds and calculate the medications I am now safe to take. I go to the kitchen and decide to only take one of the 3 meds I can now take… I hate this… I should probably eat something before I take this pill… I don’t… I am squinting, my eyes hurt, and the kitchen floor feels like a bed of hot coals… just take my pill and go lay down again… even if I don’t sleep it is more comfortable than being on my feet. Pain level 9/10
8:25 – Okay, I now have to take my morning dose of the other meds, I can’t put it off any longer… My little dude is SO happy to see me before he goes to school… he knows I am not feeling well… He is bear hugging me in the kitchen, and I want to cry… it should feel good to have his arms wrapped around me, but it doesn’t right now… I tell him to come say goodbye to me before he leaves for school, and go back to bed and rock myself gently back and forth praying for the pain to go away… Pain level 9/10 Energy level – 2/10
10:00am – Still in bed – but I can breathe now.. Pain Level 7/10
11:00am – Still in bed – but have my laptop with me, and I can finally concentrate, and remember what is was that I needed to blog yesterday that I didn’t get around to doing. I feel guilty that I didn’t give my little dude a big bear hug back this morning… I wonder if that bothered him.. I wonder if he understands… makes me feel bad… I think of the things that I want to do today… um.. ya… That’s not going to happen… maybe today should be another quiet day… and I need to accept that…. Pain Level 7/10 Energy level – 3/10