Pain is a four-letter word…. 4 very trite letters… side-by-side they create a pint-sized word that has had the power to define me. I think the word “pain” should be as grand as Super-cali-fragi-listic-expi-ali-docious or as important as existence or as special as adoration. The word “pain” just sounds so insignificant. “I’m in pain” doesn’t even begin to explain what my life is all about. It doesn’t explain how I really feel…. It doesn’t acknowledge who I am, where I come from, or what I do. PAIN is what society declares I am…..
I am a Chronic PAIN patient
I live in PAIN everyday
PAIN is what sets me apart from others
PAIN becomes my identity to the misunderstood
But it isn’t WHO I am, it is WHAT I feel, and the difference is paramount. I can think of so many other 4-letter words that epitomize who I am.
I LOVE my family passionately!!
I am a WARM daughter, a WILD sister, and a WISE mother.
I LOST my brother just over ten years ago now, and I MISS him more than I can ever express in words. I HOPE that he knows how much his love changed my life. The LOSS I FELT when he left me has never truly gone away. I HOPE he is proud of me.
I am a TRUE friend, a KIND person, and I GIVE to a fault at times. I can get so caught up in focusing on others that I forget to take care of myself. I am my own worst enemy at times, although I never set out to be…. It is just that I am a CARE-taker, and I want to HELP everyone!
I tend to be really CALM when faced with adversity. I have been through a great deal in my life, and I have TRIED to learn from it all. I have a STILL and quiet strength that I positively know has come from all the hardships I have struggled through. I am a survivor.
I can be WARY of others, only because I have been betrayed many times. I have experienced enough heartache to know that trust can be broken permanently. But I still have a SOFT heart. I still believe the BEST in people, and I don’t ever want that part of me to change. I WORK HARD to HOLD on to who I am, because I don’t want this world to change me.
I have a ZEAL for life. I believe it is my DUTY to pass along my experiences, my HOPE, and my strength to others. It is what makes this world go around, and I want to be a PART of the big scheme of things….. I want to MAKE a difference.
I FEAR not ever being WELL again, but I don’t let that fear dictate who I am. I try to LIVE each day to the very fullest. I want to live a FULL and wonderful life in spite of the physical pain I FEEL everyday.
So some might say that “pain” is a word to describe me
I am not PAIN…. I am so MUCH MORE.