Nerve Pain
The NERVE! Or Nerve Pain rather…. Holy hell, the past few days have been really rough….
Neuropathy hasn’t been a symptom of my illness that I have struggled with since becoming ‘ill’… It developed about a year in to this wild ride… but it has been getting worse this past year… it is now constant… every minute of every day… and I don’t ever seem to get a break from it.
It seems to be one of the hardest things for my Doctor to treat as well.. I mean I have never gotten to the point that any of my other symptoms are managed properly either, but the nerve pain has been one of the most insolent and stubborn types of pain… Just as soon as I get enough meds in my system to deal with it, my nerves seem to give my body the proverbial middle finger, and the storm starts again… I find myself at the beginning all over again… What relentless and ignorant pain…. I hate it.
The most frustrating part is that unlike my myofascial, muscular, and ligament pain – my neuropathy doesn’t seem to have a trigger… or not one that I have been able to put my finger on anyway… it just is… active in my body all the time, waning and waxing as IT chooses… deciding when and where it is going to stop my life… without giving me any control.
The burning in my hands and feet have been excruciating these past few days… and my body has gone into hyper drive… Just a slight breeze through my kitchen window is enough to make me cringe and wince – my body reacts in a wave of the most painful “goosebumps” on either side of my body… my bowel twists and turns in response… and a fire is lit underneath my skin… An angry lightning storm bouncing around underneath my skin, but never losing strength and dying out… sigh… Ain’t this life grand?
And the thing that I want the most, a soft hug from my honey, or a bear hug from my little dude.. well, that is out of the question.. I can barely handle clothing touching my skin, let alone being embraced… How discouraging when what normally feels good turns into something I have to recoil and runaway from… These are the days that everything about my life sucks, only because I hurt too much to participate in it. I think I might just go into my cave and hide again today…
I don’t have time for this today, there is a world out there that is calling my name.. I have a scooter to ride, errands to run, articles to write, people to love…. and yet I cannot seem to get off the couch again today…. sigh…
The NERVE of it all…
Some days seem quite unfair, no matter how far I have come, or how much work I have done to establish a positive and ‘graceful’ life… and today is one of those days… It seems that no matter how much I try to fight my pain, this nerve pain is something that knocks me down every time…
Sigh… it will be another quiet day today other than the deafening sound of thunderclaps when lightning strikes – underneath my skin.
((hugs))) I wish the pain could stop for you –
You have a wonderful gift with words & your writing.
Love Leanne
Ouch! Even though you write so beautifully, I can barely even imagine what you are going through. Sending you gentle, healing energy and hopes for relief.
I’m so sorry you are struggling with the nerve pain. Yikes that sounds like it really hurts!
I am sending a ‘visual’ hug as I don’t think that will hurt your skin!
Sorry to hear that Jolene…I too have neuropathy over my entire abdomen from the over 15 surgeries (the cutting and recutting the nerves) and neuromas (little tumors on the ends) so my whole abdomen feels this way constantly also. Do you take Neurontin for it? Its a seizure drug but helps sometimes with neuropathy…Anyway, I know it sucks to feel like the world is going on without you on these days…but it will be there when you feel stronger and more able to tolerate it. Try to just relax and read or write…if you feel you are using this down time constructively maybe youwon’t feel quite as bad? Although maybe you can’t tolerate reading or writing…if so, then just sleep thru the damn misery until you feel better! I have been having to sleep thru mine as of late. Not accomplishing much…I did work 2 night shifts, but I am paying for it greatly! I am forcing myself out of the bed today to take my daughter to the movies…gonna go see the new Will Farrell movie and laugh a bit! Hang in there kiddo! hugs! xoxo
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Your dr has probably already suggested/or you have already tried Lyrica. Neurontin didn’t work for me, and sometimes folks with some forms of neuropathy are helped by Lyrica.
Sorry to hear about your pain. I’ll send a visual hug too!
Bless your heart! Have you been diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD)? It is also called Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). in my understanding it is a short circuiting of the nervous system that sometimes occurs either after an injury or as a progression in a pain syndrome. There are different meds for it – neuropathic meds to turn down the “volume” of the nerve pain. Just a thought for you.
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