The Right to Complain

Does it ever bother you to listen to healthy people complain?

Do you ever feel like your complaints are so much different than rants of healthy people?

In my experience, I think that the way others communicate, and the way we respond can sometimes create a wedge inside a relationship.

I know that on days when I am feeling well, I have ALL the time in the world to listen to EVERYONE and their grievances..

I try to be a good person, a compassionate soul, and someone who lives by The Golden Rule, so

why would I NOT listen to people

when if the shoe was on the other foot,

I would want someone to listen to me….

But on bad days… Sometimes THIS is how I feel..

How dare you complain about your ‘bratty’ kids, when I would gladly take one of them off of your hands and love them as my own -

I probably won’t have the ability to have another child, and it devastates me…

I am sorry that your laundry is piling up -

But so is mine… not because I don’t have the time to do it… It is because I haven’t been able to lift anything this week.

That’s too bad that you hate your job -

I’d LOVE to have a job I hated… I haven’t been able to work in years.

I am sure your headache IS really bad -

But I’d gladly take your headache off your hands and live with it forever if you would take my pain for me for just a day.

I feel bad that you are so tired today -

But I haven’t slept more than 4 hours every night for the past month, and I battle exhaustion as a side-effect of taking narcotics day in and day out… and I am still upright.

That’s great you had an awesome time at the party last night, I bet you are hung over -

So am I – but not because I let loose and had fun… I feel like this every morning because of my meds.

You are right, there IS nothing on TV tonight -

But you don’t have to stay at home, you have the luxury of going out with friends, going to a movie, going out for coffee…

I, on the other hand, will be where I am every night..

And that really sucks that your dress for our friend’s  wedding cost $400 -

I am sure it set you back… I spend that much every month on my medication,

and I don’t want to buy a new outfit in case I am too sore to attend

So if I go, I will be either wearing something from my closet, or borrowing a dress from my Mom.

And that is only a few… I could go on and on – but I won’t

Don’t get me wrong, most days this doesn’t bother me in the least… complaining is a natural part of life – everyone does it, and everyone needs their feelings validated… and I feel honored that I can be that validation to those I care about.  So ALL of my loved ones out there – PLEASE don’t edit yourself around me… I would hate it if you did…

And PLEASE DON’T persecute or judge me because I sometimes have these thoughts… I know it isn’t very nice.  Nobody knows that more than I do.  I wish I didn’t ever feel this way, but I do – I am only human.  It might sound nasty, but really it isn’t… And I am not trying to be rude…These thoughts come from ME loving you, and wanting the best for you… and from where I stand, I believe that you already have the best, bratty kids, boring TV, hangover and all… You have the ability to live your life pain-free… and I would do just about anything to experience that.

I can admit that I feel envious of that from time to time -  I promise to work on that, so my jealousy won’t damage our relationship…

All I ask of you -

Is that you take the time to see

how lucky you really are -

try to see the rainbow instead of the storm clouds,

Stop and feel gratitude for what you have

instead of concentrating on what you don’t.

Remind yourself of how much worse it could be -

no matter where you are

in your life

there is someone who

would gladly change places with you.

And sometimes that person is ME.

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